Devastating...

Recent spate of events have led me to start thinking why I'm working so hard. In the past, I'd work with my heart. The interest in what I do for a living drove me to put in my best efforts, just to make things work. Also the fact that I had built part of the organisation, though in a really small way, had driven me to strive even harder. I'm known to most of my colleagues as Princess Carol, only for a very simple reason. I never say die. I never give up. I'll go all way out to fix a problem. Work till 4 in the morning just to make sure nothing goes wrong. But these few months, every thing seems to be going the wrong way.

No matter how hard i try, nothing seems to be right. I'm also left to face and deal with some people with very much less enthusiasm and commitment. To an extent it destroys what I've built and achieved so far. This really disheartens me. I just can't understand how people can brush off duties of top priority as something they can do some other time. Totally no sense of responsibility I'd say. And, to add salt to the wound, I feel the least about getting recognition for my commitments. I do have colleagues at my same level recognising what I've done so far (because it's really tough job even for them, not to mention for a lady) but sad to say i don't see the same coming from the top. Sad. Really sad, and disappointing. 就象我一个朋友常说，每个人一生的努力，如果得不到认同和肯定，那就真的很失望。。。

Just this weekend, all my orders went to hell. Almost 100%. And whilst I was trying really hard to salvage whatever I could by working the whole of Saturday and almost all of Sunday till 5.30am, I still got shouted at by my customers. I haven't slept at all since Saturday. And I'm really tired. Very very tired....

On the lighter side, as a form of stress relieve and a way of self improvement, I started re-looking at my language skills again. Having no time at all to attend proper lessons, I began reading my previous notes on Japanese and speaking to my friends and colleagues as much as I can in that language. I've also made a vast improvement in my Chinese, thks to my colleagues in the office and around the region and most importantly, a friend who's been very encouraging and giving me the occasional 'assignments'. I have progressed to the stage where I can now read a whole page of Chinese words without going cross-eyed, Haha... Oh! I also forgot to mention that I'm quite addicted to facebook. I enjoy the fluff races, and feeding my Wawaby! Hehe... Takes my mind off work as well. Most importantly, it's interesting to know that the world is really small, and that yr friends do know some other friends too!

Anyway, was at Vivo today with Tweetie & Michelle... Had lunch @ Sushi Tei, and it was utterly disappointing. Everything tasted horrible. The sashimi platter had Botan Ebi with the head blackish and almost falling off. The scallops were really mushy and fishy already... My main dish, Hiyashi Chuka had crab meat that didn't look fresh either ans tasted (-_-)... Nope. Nothing won my appetite today. So I decided to buy a box of donuts to share in the office... Looked OK, but tasted (-_-) too... Sigh... What's going on....